I did the best I could in copying it down. I changed very few things and I mostly added punctuation to make it a little more readable. Here it is:
Today I went to the mall to see a cool water fountain, but it was only a fake. So I yelled at the top of my lungs to the manager that I was very mad and he hit me in the good old fashion way that involves a big black eye. On my foot, he shot me through his back and he missed my head by ten inches but I still got the kill and was sent to the cookies jail where I ate cold yellow phones. Then I puked all over my newly bought car and then I gasped then said, "oh no" and went home crying. Then I laid down and thought: why am I talking to myself. Then someone appeared and turned my head 360 degrees in the wrong direction but I knew their face, figured out it's an evil joystick that was bent backwards too far, fell on his spine. Now he was a long list of broken bones. He went to the hospital and vomited near door 37 but there was a sick lady wanting naughty things doing her papers, so we all decided that we should have some chips and dip but we didn't have chips or dip so we got mad and ate a banana but it was really gross. Now we slipped on the banana peel and broke our Great uncle Luis's new mobile phone, and now he's very mad because we took God's beard and burnt the hair off and then he smote us with an almighty Banhammer which made us get banned for spamming all of God's books.
Sat Dec 15, 2012 6:52 pm by 
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